“Don’t Blame Your Daughter (Diamonds)” - The Cardigans
I watched Where the Wild Things Are two days ago, and it was really good. It made me think a lot about my family, especially my mom’s divorce and how it’s affected my little sister and, to some extent, me. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in 3-4 years, but my sister got to see him on Easter this year. She said he was like a stranger to her. She was only 12 then.
My parents divorced when she was 6. For years after that, she would still talk about him like he was family even though we only saw him once every year or two. I guess he stopped being family to me before the divorce. He was absent a lot in the end, making about two or so appearances a week. But she still loved him for some reason. Even though he wouldn’t even make enough effort to call ONCE ever, or try to see her somewhere that wasn’t at our grandparents’ house during a holiday. It used to make me so mad at her. I didn’t understand how she could still love him after how he hurt Mom and us, and every time she would say something about him, it would bring on a tense, awkward moment. Mom handled it all really well though, even though I know it hurt her and made her feel like she failed. They had been married for at least 16 years. I don’t know the exact number, but I remember them having a 16th anniversary. What she and I didn’t handle well was my sister. We got so angry at her for acting out, and she was basically having to go through the same things Max did in the movie. Mom was dating, and I was making friends. And we were both kind of leaving her behind. Just like he had left her behind. I’m really sorry I didn’t try to understand her. It seems so obvious in hindsight. I remember being just like that when I was a kid and my brother would pick his friends over me.
I see everything a bit different now. He blamed me and my sister a lot for their marriage falling apart, but it was his fault. He’s got to live with what he did every day. And I hope he thinks about it EVERY day, and it hurts him. He owes something to us, especially to my sister.
“Read me your tombstone, tell me you’re sorry
Fax me your will, you owe me something still.
Blood is like water, the bath that you poured me
Has drained and it’s gone, don’t blame it on your son.”
1 month ago